How to Get the Most Out of that Ugly Cry

Tips on  the rules for the ugly cry

Frustrated, Overwhelmed, Angry as Hell?

Have you ever had one of those times when you just needed – yeah you know – you needed a BIG UGLY CRY?

Here are 7 tips for you and your bestie, sometimes called the Ugly Cry Ally, to get the most bang for those buckets of tears!

For the Ugly Cry Gal:

  1. Be in a safe place where you won’t be interrupted. Call or (best practice) be in the presence of your Ugly Cry Ally who knows these rules!
  2. Prepare: Grab a hanky (or a sheet depending, on the issue).
  3. Let go of Judgment.

This is time to clean house. Some of this is going to get dirty!

Ugly cry time is sacred. You have permission to to say some weird, mean, awful, crazy, stuff.

You may rail at what is truly disturbing, unfair and wrong in life.

What you are doing is letting go of emotional energy that has been pent up, stewing and wreaking havoc on your body, mind and spirit like a cat in pigeon colony.

Free your mind so you can free the energy!

Don’t try to think about. Just feel.

4. Take your time. Tell your Ugly Cry Sister when you are done. Let YOU be the focus when you cry. You are not there to make your friend feel ok or take care of them. They are holding space for you.

For the brave, loving and badass Ugly Cry Ally

  1. Get grounded.

This is not about you. It’s about your friend. You are holding sacred space for your sister. Know she will return the favor. Because this kind of gift of holding space without judgement is what everyone craves.

  1. Leave your fix-it kit at home.

While she’s crying her body is releasing toxins, reorganizing DNA and resetting her self for a wave “that feels so much better” clarity that comes from a good ole cry. Your friend is too busy scraping, yanking and pulling, her grief, sadness and fear out of every crevice of her body.

She is nowhere near the fix it, analyze it, or make you feel more comfortable mode.

Common fix-it tools that do more harm than good:

The Hammer: “Ok, already, move on,  just let it go!”

The Wrench: “You are not being positive!”

The Screwdriver: “Why did you attract this to yourself? “

The fix it stuff will come later. After that first glass of wine, the laugh at herself, or after the burning of bad boyfriend memorabilia, mourning her loss, or getting real about her feelings about political, work, family, or other disasters.

  1. Look at her with eyes of love.

She’s ok.

Will be ok.

Even better after this.

She will let you know when she’s done either by telling you or by the little smile that will emerge from under the hanky. She will be able to look at you and connect once she’s discharged and painted the room with soulful sounds, swear words and colorful language.

So – get out there and have an ugly one! Be a an Ugly Cry Ally, who holds no judgment and sees you with eyes of love.

The gratitude and grace of offering this loving space will make you both happier.

Come Home to YOU

Learn more about how you and other women can have the confidence, consciousness, and connections you need to succeed in my Come Home to You workshop April 29th .





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