Dear Valentines: Tips for Confidence and Connection

Sometimes events in our life can leave us feeling uncertain and powerless.

Issue and events can trigger our stress response and send us into freeze. Living in our heads – spinning with ideas, worry and confusion, compound our stress.

You can recover your balance, spirit and courage.

Hare are 3 tips you to help you bust stress and boost your self-confidence in troubling times.

As Nina Simone sings:

No one wants to live alone
Who wants to smile, laugh, or cry alone
Have we lost the touch that means so much
Have we lost the human touch

Yes, The secret ingredient is TOUCH.

Here are five ways you can get in touch with touch!

Shoulder to Shoulder

Simply being in the presence of other humans will help dissipate your sense of stress. Get out from behind your computer, and get out of your house and go be with others.

Take and action. This will help ground you and get you IN TOUCH with others. Find a Meet Up that has people who like the same thing you do. Go to church, or make a time to meet a friend for tea. Concerned about political issues? Don’t just social media about it, DO something with others – write letters, makes calls, show up and talk others.

In Chinese Traditional Medicine the Metal Meridian, is associated with the emotions of grief and inspiration, and it also governs the skin. So touch and connection, being with others, can balance these energies and can relieve our grief and boost our inspiration.

Hold Hands

The Heart Meridian extends from the heart to the hands.

No wonder touch is so powerful, it I connects us to the very core of ourselves – our heart!

When was the last time you hold hands with someone you loved or even a good friend, an older person, a child?

Reaching out to others may be surprise them. That’s ok. Just take the hand of someone you care about for a few minutes. Holding hands in unity with others also strengthens your energy and affirms that you are not alone.

I recently visited an elder friend in the hospital. She had been given drugs, examined and monitored. But when I touched her, held her hand, rubbed her feet and gently massaged her belly and back that her condition rapidly improved. Despite all the medical care she had had it was simple touch that changed the course of her health. I provided what the nurses and doctors no longer have time nor permission to. That is sad because it has been proven that the people who had experienced more supportive hugging and touch battled infection 32% more effectively and exhibited fewer signs of illness.

How much more effective would our medical care be if touch were part of our protocol?

This is part of the reason why we see clients get great results from Energy Medicine, Reiki and NOW Massage at!


A heart to heart hug boosts your courage!

The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra, the seat of our sense of Confidence. This also stimulates the thymus gland,which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keeps you healthy and disease free

When you can’t be with others hug yourself or your favorite stuffed animal. Even better, pet a real animal! Animals are natural healers because they live so much through their senses.

Yes, I can find comfort in eating an ice cream cone – but it is not as satisfying as making connection.

The emotional impact of interpersonal touch is ingrained in our biology.

Here is how touch boosts our connection and confidence

Touch triggers the release of oxytocin, sometimes called t the love hormone that decreases stress-related responses.

It defines us as human: we feel our own flesh and recognize the humanness of others.

Strengthens the immune system.

Decrease our aggressive feelings and lessons aggression.

Nurtures trust between us.

Creates stronger team dynamics

Provides non-sexual emotional intimacy.

Encourages greater learning engagement.

Makes us more compassionate.

Gives a sense of overall wellbeing.

And all of these lead to more Self-confidence.


Shoulder to shoulder, Holding Hands, Hugs.

These are simple ways you can recover from feeling stress and uncertainty.

Increase your awareness of being present and being integral to the world around you

and taking action boosts your confidence,

Share the love, share the connection, live with more confidence.

You know you are not alone.


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One Comment

  1. Louise says:


    What a wise woman you are indeed.
    Healing from a surgery.
    Your words and thoughts are certainly comforting and healing.
    Love to you

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